Feel Like Makin' Love

My new boy and I have been talking more about what's going to happen, physically speaking, when he comes to visit. It's not that I don't want to sleep with him, but I'm nervous about disappointing him with my inexperience and awkwardness. He asked me today when the last time was that I had sex, and I said, "None of your business," but the real answer is more like, "When dinosaurs roamed the earth." I just hope this doesn't go horribly.

It's a Love Story, Baby, Just Say Yes

My new boy called me today. It was so nice to hear his voice, and he was being really sweet on the phone. He couldn't believe that I would think he would just blow me off. I explained testily that I don't know anything about the military or their stupid communication lockdowns, so I could not reasonably be expected to use my special magic powers to deduce that he wanted to talk to me but couldn't. He also let it slip that he's in love with me, but I didn't call his attention to it. I just tucked it away to smile about later.

She's Seduced by the Sunsets and Her New Life at Hand

I finally heard from my new boy by email. The stupid military had him on communication lockdown because some unspecified shit went down, so he was out of touch. He apologized for being out of touch and conceded that he should have mentioned that stuff like that happens. I was like, "Um, yes, you should have. Ideally before I spent three days in tears thinking you didn't want anything to do with me anymore." But I'm relieved that he's safe and that we're still on track.

From the Halls of Montezuma to the Shores of Tripoli

I talked to my BFF today about the situation with my new boy and his mysterious absence. Her cousin is in the military also, and she told me that he has to disappear for lengths of time on a moment's notice without being able to get in touch with anyone to do maneuvers or missions. In her view, it made a lot more sense to conclude that my new boy was called away on something like that than that his feelings toward me reversed polarity overnight.

I hope my BFF is right. I really care about this man. This time that we've been apart, thinking he didn't care about me anymore, makes my chest ache. I feel like part of me is missing. It's my birthday, and all I want is to be with him. I just hope he's okay.

The Girl She Was in New England is Different Now and Dead

So, I think things have already bottomed out with my new boy and damned if I can figure out what happened.

The last time I heard from him was his note to me on Tuesday morning about which I posted. Thursday was his birthday, and I sent him a couple of emails, but I received no response. I thought for sure that he would call me on his birthday so we could talk, but he didn't. I thought he would call me last night too, but he didn't call me then either. He was on Facebook at least for brief periods on Wednesday and Thursday nights, which is the real reason I'm upset. He was online, and he chose not to spend any of that time corresponding with me.

Yesterday morning, I sent him an email basically just doing a pulse check and reminding him that it's my birthday tomorrow and saying that I hoped to hear from him soon. Then I spent the entire day in my office with the door shut crying.

I don't understand what's going on here. Monday, he was lobbying to move in with me for a month. Tuesday, he told me he was thinking about me. Then, he drops off the face of the earth. Did he get freaked out about how fast things were moving, even though he was the one pushing them along? Did something happen to him? Did he suddenly realize that I'm not worth it? I'm torn between worrying about him and wanting to burn down his house.

In This World of Loneliness, I See Your Face

My new boy emailed me last night just to tell me he was thinking about me.

Movin' On In to a Deluxe Apartment in the Sky

I had a great weekend with my mom down south. Unfortunately, I was stuck in the airport overnight and all day yesterday trying to get home due to a major snowstorm.

On the positive side, I talked on the phone to my new boy at the airport, and I feel more convinced than ever that this could be something serious. He wants to stay with me for an entire month when he's on vacation. I guess it's like a practice run of living together.

It feels like things are moving quickly, but I'm happy about it. In all practicality, with the two of us living in different countries, it makes sense to give it a real, full-on shot instead of dinky-dorking around with a weekend here and there. If it works, we'll know right away and can figure out the logistics of how to be together in the long term. If it doesn't, at least we'll know before we waste any more of each other's time and, I hope, we can down shift to being friends. But I think this man could be the one. We're a good match, and I feel like he gets me and I get him. I'm excited to see what happens.