Back in the U.S.S.R.

I booked my trip to go to Russia today! Said trip is not happening until May 2010, but it is nonetheless booked. I promised myself I would go to Russia the year I turn 30, and I'm now I'm doing it. Da!

OK Computer

My stupid computer's stupid hard drive died over the weekend. Cursed thing. For the most part, I didn't lose anything of value because I had most of my music stored on my iPod, but I lost some stuff I was writing for myself. It wasn't that great, but still. Now I have to completely redo it from scratch. Rawr.

What Are You Doing New Year's Eve?

I gave my salsa instructor cookies for Christmas. He seemed pretty happy about that (as well he should because they were damn good cookies), but he was much more excited about a scheme he hatched to see his ex-girlfriend. I have to wonder if he isn't attracted to her primarily because she isn't interested in him. It makes sense, in a twisted way. He's used to romantic relationships coming easily to him (I assume), and she presents a challenge. So, obviously, if I want him to fall in love with me, I have to go out with him, dump him, and then refuse to get back together with him. Foolproof!

Come On, Bartender, Could You Be More Tender?

I think my salsa love interest may be a bit of a shithead. Along with a group of other students from my salsa class, I went to his recital last night. He acted like he couldn't have cared less that I was there, he didn't come over to say hello to the table of students (who were obviously there primarily to see him), and he declined to dance with the mutual friend who introduced us in the first place. I was obviously hoping for special attention from him, but I didn't even get what I would describe as common courtesy. I am heartbroken.

Burning Down the House

I hope they let me write from jail because I'm about to go on a murderous rampage or possibly an arson spree. My complaints against the world in general are so numerous as to require subheadings.

The Only Living Boy in New York

That motherfucker. I confirmed with a mutual friend that, as I suspected, he had indeed broken up with his girlfriend. I emailed him back last night in response to his friend request and said, "It's been about six months. To what do I owe this surprise?" He said that he had only recently noticed that I removed him as my friend and asked how I was doing. I said, "I'm great. Thanks for asking. I don't want to sound like an asshole or like I don't care about you, but there was a reason we stopped talking six months ago and that I de-friended you, and if that situation hasn't changed, I don't think our trying to be friends now would turn out any differently." His entire response was "Ok." I mean, seriously? I figured that if he was emailing me now, it must be because he and his girlfriend broke up (correct) and he was interested in giving a romantic relationship between the two of us some kind of chance (incorrect). I didn't even bother to respond to his two-letter email. I'm congratulating myself for being adult enough to nip that in the bud.

Work

Work was not super-busy this week, which was kind of nice but kind of boring. Then, all of sudden today, probably because it's Friday, the shit hit the fan. I ended up canceling lunch with a friend and my career counseling appointment (might have been nice to go to that since I have a fucking job interview on Monday). Then, the bitch who tattled on me and got me the bad review asked me to meet her at 4:15 to talk about stuff, and I ended up having to cancel my hair appointment to stay and figure out some bullshit. So, now I have a rat's nest atop my head right in time for a job interview for a job I desperately want. And then she wanted to know what I was doing this weekend (many things!) and basically rain on those various parades by asking me to do a shit-ton of menial, clerical bullshit for work. And, not that she knows this, but I'm doing all of this with even less job security than my compatriots. In this economy, it's tough for anyone to say he or she has job security, but I have been specifically told that I might be fired, so I think I have less. And I have to do all this shit for the very person who caused me to be in this situation to begin with. Fucking shit.

This Other Dickface

Then, I have this other "friend." We used to work together, and we were very close at that time. He moved to go to graduate school, and I moved to take another job. Over time, we've grown less close because we're not in constant contact like we used to be, but we still chat. The other day, I sent him an email and said that I had a dream about him in which he said he missed me, so I figured I would email him and see how he was doing. His response was to tell me that that was creepy and that his girlfriend wouldn't appreciate him getting messages like that. Dude...whatever. Look, I can see how that could be taken in a creepy way, but he knows me, and he knows that it wasn't meant in any kind of a creepy way. So, it was shitty of him to say that it was creepy. And I don't understand why he brought his girlfriend (a girlfriend I didn't know he had) into the situation at all. Like, are other people not allowed to dream about her boyfriend? I mean, it's not like I told him I had a sexual dream about him. We're friends. He said he missed me. What's the big fucking deal? I told him to stop being a jackass and that he knew I didn't mean it like that. Ugh.

I hate everything.

The Seventh Thing I Hate the Most About You: You Make Me Love You

The Only Living Boy in New York resurfaced. He invited me to be his friend on a popular social networking site. We used to be friends on this site, but I dropped him after this incident, and I hadn't heard a peep out of him until today. And now I don't know what to do.

If You Were a Castle, I'd Be Your Moat and If You Were an Ocean, I'd Learn to Float, All I Want Is You

So, my friend and I went to visit my salsa instructor/soul mate (who is in increasingly dire need of a blog name) on Monday at his bartending job, and he seemed sort of underwhelmed to see us. He wasn't rude or anything, but he didn't hang out and talk with us very much. We weren't sure if it was because he was at work or because he wished we would stop coming to see him.

Last night, I had salsa class with him. I said that my friend said we couldn't go back to see him anymore. He wanted to know why, and I said that it was because we were worried that we were bothering him. He said he thought we saw him doing stuff (i.e., he wasn't ignoring us, just doing his work). I said that I told my friend that she could go back but that he just didn't want to see me. Then he pressed up against me and gave me some look that involved sex lasers shooting out of his eyes, and he said something (I think something to the tune of, "I'm always happy to see you") but I have no idea what it was because my heart was pounding in my ears and I went temporarily deaf.