Don't Harbor Love Like It's All Your Own

Lately, I've been getting rid of stuff like there is no tomorrow. I've taken so many bags of stuff to the thrift store that they probably think I'm moving in, and I have half of my possessions listed on Ebay.

Part of the reason for my liquidation of assets is financial. Even though I'm working, have refinanced my mortgage and talked sense into my student loan companies, I still have to use part of my savings every month to make ends meet. Seeing the amount of money in my savings account decrease makes me panicky because once that money is gone, it's gone. I'm obviously drawing on it more slowly than I would be if I were living off unemployment, but I still like to keep as much of a cushion there as I can since I don't know how long my temp job will last or when (or if) I'll find a permanent position. (There is something that really chafes about working for a living and still needing to live off my savings. Like, I can accept not being able to save money or even work on paying off debts, but I should at least be able to cover my basic living expenses. I mean, damn.) Simply put, I have more stuff than money right now, and I figure I can help out some people who seem to have the opposite problem.

The other part of the reason is more difficult to explain, or even to wrap my own mind around. I feel like this is a significant time in my life -- like when I look back from the end of my life, I will note that this was a time of great change for me. Obviously, some big things have happened to me recently. I lost my job, and I changed cities (again). Beyond that, losing my job has made me think seriously about whether it's time to abandon my previous career path and strike out in a new direction. A lot of the stuff I have -- both in nature and volume -- is suited for a life I don't have anymore. I used to imagine my ideal future as one with a lot of wealth and nice things. It's not that I don't want money and nice things anymore, but now I see my ideal future differently. I see it as one with simplicity, happiness and more time for things other than work. (While we're being honest, I also see it with Goose, but that's not something I have much control over.) Getting rid of so much of my stuff feels like shedding a skin, like I'm letting something new come to the surface.