Teardrops on my Guitar

Catalano isn't coming.

That is unsurprising. What surprised me is how it came about that he isn't coming.

He texted me this afternoon as I was leaving work to get a pedicure and a Brazilian wax (ouch, by the way) to find out if I have to work this weekend. I said I did not and asked if he did. He said that, as of now, he also does not have to work this weekend. So, I asked if that meant he planned to come visit me. He said that if the weather didn't get worse, he would come, and then he said that he wanted to clarify that, contrary to what he agreed to before, he would rather sleep on the couch than share the bed with me.

That upset me. I had been wondering what his expectations are since we planned this rendezvous, and his saying that made me feel like he was rejecting me. It also made me feel like he was pulling the classic Catalano move of acting interested (in agreeing to share the bed initially) and then taking it back. He said that after everything that happened with his ex-girlfriend, he would rather take the couch. So, I asked if something was going on with his ex-girlfriend, and he said there wasn't but that it had been only a couple of months, and he wasn't ready. I asked if that meant he foresaw being ready or something happening between us at some future point, and he said he didn't know, but that nothing could happen right now. Then he decided not to come this weekend. He says we'll do it another weekend, but I don't think he really will. In fact, I would be surprised if we talk again. It seemed like one of those conversations (via text message) that became more intense than either person really meant for it to become and then ends up ending the friendship.

I'm so disappointed. I didn't know what I wanted to happen between Catalano and me this weekend, but I always hoped something would happen between us eventually. For him, it has been only a couple of months since he broke up with his long-time girlfriend (so his feelings of unreadiness to move on are completely valid), but for me, it has been two and a half years of waiting for him to realize she sucks and try something with me instead (these feelings are also valid). Now I just feel sad and confused.