They Say the Next Big Thing is Here, That the Revolution's Near, But to Me It Seems Quite Clear

I love history. Lately, I have been listening to audio books (since I can do that while I work) by Antonia Fraser and Alison Weir about Louis XIV of France and the wives of Henry VIII of England. Even though the Sun King's reign ended almost 300 years ago in 1715 and the Fat King's reign ended even longer ago in 1547, there are lessons with modern-day applicability to be learned from the their stories and those of their wives and children. To wit:

1. You never know what twists fate might take. When Francoise d'Aubigne became the governess to Louis XIV's bastard children by his mistress, Athenais the marquise of Montespan, I doubt she thought she would one day become his wife in a morganatic marriage. Since the marriage was never formally confirmed and Francoise was therefore not Louis XIV's queen, the common assumption is that they married for love. I find it hard to imagine falling in love with a man after riding herd over his passel of illegitimate brats, but apparently it can happen.

2. You have to know when to hold 'em and know when to fold 'em. When Kenny Rogers shared those immortal words with us, he may have been thinking of Katherine of Aragon. Ol' Katherine married her dead husband's brother, which would have been considered incest at that time if the first marriage had been consummated. Many historians believe it was not, and Katherine certainly harped on the fact of her virginity until the veins stood out in her forehead. In the end, all she did was to make things harder on herself and her child by not twigging to the fact that the king didn't give two shits about her virginity at the time of her marriage. He wanted to marry Anne Boleyn, the old queen was in the way, and he was going to win no matter if Katherine of Aragon had five hymens on their wedding night. Had she agreed, at the very least, to release him from the marriage by going to a convent, she would have had a much better time of it. Certainly Anna of Cleves, Henry VIII's fourth wife, figured this out. When Henry decided she was too ugly to get it up for (I am being crude, but his own accounts at the time were not much classier), she consented to annul the marriage and got to live pretty well after that.

3. Just because someone is your soul mate doesn't mean the marriage will work out. Henry VIII and Anne Boleyn were mad for each other, pretty much literally. They swirled around each other for seven years while Katherine of Aragon was busy being shrill and missing the point, and it took only about five seconds of being married for things to turn to crap. About three years after their marriage, he chose to break up with her by cleaving her head from her body. (Sub-point: Don't get involved with someone who can lawfully have your head chopped off.)

4. There is no sense in holding grudges because someone who hurts you today may help you tomorrow. Elizabeth I had Mary, Queen of Scots beheaded, but then she allowed Mary, Queen of Scots's son, James VI, to succeed her to the throne. It may seem like no one could ever do something to make it up to you after they murdered your mother, but bequeathing to you the throne of England would be a good start.