You Were Meant for Me, and I Was Meant for You

Is there a boyfriend factory somewhere that designed Slumdog Millionaire's Jamal Malik for me? If so, how do I get there? It is not in Google Maps.

Seriously, it's like the writer of this script set out to find my man-kryptonite and succeeded admirably. This dude is tall, skinny, Indian, young and poor. He grew up in a slum! Mrowr! And he's 18, which makes him young but also legal! Double mrowr! Now, if only I could get to Fictional Movie World and break up him with that super-hot Muslim chick he was madly in love with...