And If You Don't Know, Now You Know

I'm still thinking about the email I got yesterday from the guy I hooked up with in Egypt.

I can't get over what a surprise this guy ended up being. Seriously, for ninety percent of the time we were on the trip, I would have happily drowned him in the Nile. Had I punched him in the head, I think most of the group would have voluntarily testified that he did it to himself. Now, I wonder if he wasn't being so loud and obnoxious because he wanted to get my attention. (I'm sure that wasn't the only reason, but it might have been part of it.) I wrote him off as a pain in the ass, but, in retrospect, I misjudged him.

When we talked one on one, I found him to be a genuine person. Maybe it was a combination of a couple of (very weak) drinks and it being the last night of the tour, but he was very honest and vulnerable with me about his feelings. And who doesn't like to hear that a handsome guy has made you his secret crush?

Because I'm inherently mistrustful and suspicious of others, I doubted whether he really liked me and wondered if he just said all those things in the hopes of having sex with me. When he showed up at my room to apologize for getting fresh, I became more convinced of his sincerity because that didn't seem like something that someone who just wanted to get laid would do. When he then emailed me after I left, that convinced me even more for the same reason.

His email was also really sweet. He filled me in on what he'd been doing since I left (which, unfortunately, was mainly dealing with some light credit card number theft that he found out had happened to him in Luxor), and he told me he had had a dream about me and woke up holding his pillow. He apologized again for trying to rush things between us, but he said that it was just so amazing to be with me that he didn't want to let me go. That's pretty flattering.

It's a shame that I don't see any real chance of anything going beyond friendship with this guy, since he's the first guy since my high school boyfriend who seemed to get me and like me for myself. Maybe (and I hate myself already for saying this) this is the universe's way of telling me that guys like that are out there (ugh, I hate when people say stuff like that and I can't believe I just made myself one of them). But maybe I shouldn't count this guy out so soon. If I learned anything in Egypt, it's that life and people are full of surprises, so you have to limber up your thinking.