The Best Thing You've Ever Done for Me Is to Help Me Take My Life Less Seriously

I got another email from my Egypt guy this morning. I was happy to receive the email but less happy about what it said.

First, he was telling me how the rest of his vacation is going, and he mentioned that he was at a club with a friend of his (a friend he just made, I presume) and a gay guy was aggressively pursuing his heterosexual male friend to the point that the gay guy was asked to leave the club. That's all fine, but he referred to the gay guy as a "fag." I'm just not down for that. I don't think this guy is actually homophobic because he hung out with two gay guys on our Egypt trip and was totally friendly and fine with them, but it still offends me.

Second, he mentioned that the women where he is are "smoking hot." He knows I get jealous. Jackass.

Third, he didn't say anything about my provocative comments as to how I'm going to get him back for leaving that giant hickey on my neck. I was a little annoyed about that. I don't know what I expected him to say, but I wanted some acknowledgment that my suggestion intrigued him.

Fourth, he implied that when he comes to my city for a visit, he just wants to meet up for drinks. I am not sure that it's a good idea for him to stay with me, but I thought he would want to spend more than an hour or two hanging out with me. He also suggested he might visit some other folks from our tour, though I didn't get the impression that he was romantically interested in any of them other than perhaps me.

I should add, in the interest of full disclosure, that he sweetly mentioned that it makes him happy to get my emails and that he hoped to hear from me again soon. He also asked for my phone number so he can call me from his hotel off on the other side of the world. I don't even call my mother when I'm out of the country unless it's a dire emergency, so that meant something to me.

Still, I debated whether to respond to his email, mostly because of the gay slur. I talked to my mom, and she posited that I was just looking for an excuse to kick him to the curb and said that I don't have anything to lose at this juncture by telling him honestly that what he said offended me. I decided to think on it for the day and then see how I felt. I went to the outlet mall with my friend and ate some food and let the situation marinate. By the time I got home, I decided how I would respond.

I wrote back that I thought our tour group was a good one and mentioned that I was trying to get together with my female friend from the trip and that this really hot guy is coming to my city in a few weeks and we're trying to get together for dinner. I also said that I was glad that he's having fun where he is and mentioned that I was sorry that his friend had a run-in with a rapey gay guy, adding a brief parenthetical that he can't call them "fags" to me. I didn't want to lecture him, but I think I made my point. Finally, I said, "So...let me understand something. You're coming to Boston and you and I are just going to meet to grab drinks? I am seriously pouting because obviously my plans for hickey-related revenge were not that enticing to you. I guess I'll have to try them out on [the hot guy] when he comes to visit, just to see where I'm going wrong. I wonder if he prefers purple satin or red lace..."

Let him mull that one over.