Bank of America Can Bite Me

As devoted readers know, I am trying to pay off my credit cards. The first card I chose to pay off was from Bank of America. I paid the balance in full in January and canceled the card afterward. Today, I got an email from them alerting me to the fact that my current statement was ready. This puzzled me, and I clicked on the link to discover their claim that I owed them $13.61. According to the statement, this was $13.45 in charges plus $0.16 in past due fees.

I immediately called their customer service number. "Bank of America customer service number" is the biggest misnomer since "Pussy Galore." The representative I spoke to informed me in snippy tones that I paid the balance, but not the pay-off amount. I have a pay-off amount on my mortgage and my student loans, but I have no prior experience with credit cards having pay-off amounts other than the balance. In the past, every other credit card I've ever paid off has been paid off when the balance was paid in full. I have a law degree from one of the top five law schools in the United States, and the representative was unable to explain this charge to me in a way that I could grasp. In essence, what she said was that until I had maintained a zero balance for two consecutive months, Bank of America would continue to charge me fees despite my not making any purchases with them nor even having an open account. The representative insisted that Bank of America sent me a bill in the mail, and she was deaf to my assertions that I never received any such bill. I don't know why they would send me a bill in the mail last month and an email bill this month, but I suspect it is because last month's bill was fictional.

The most galling part of the whole situation (out of a choice of many galling parts) was that she told me I would actually have to pay $14 to be entirely done with this account forever. That means that if I had not called and had just paid the $13.61, I would still owe them money and would get another bill next month (or possibly several months from now, after which they would insist they sent me bills during the intervening months).

I have no idea if this little nightmare is over. I demanded Bank of America send me a letter stating in no uncertain terms that our relationship is over. I will be watching my mailbox with hawk-like vigilance for its arrival. In the meantime, I highly discourage anyone else from doing business with them. This isn't the first negative experience I've had with them, but it's the one that is currently pissing me off.