Fight or Flight

I read recently that a lot of the tension that people (like me) feel in their neck and shoulders is caused by suppressing the fight or flight response. When a person is confronted by, let's say, a mastodon, the body engages the fight or flight response. (In that case, it would probably be "flight" since humans who chose to fight mastodons probably didn't live long enough to pass their genes on to us.) When the person is out of danger, the body relaxes. However, in our modern, largely mastodon-free world, the fight or flight response kicks in at a lot of times when it isn't appropriate. Like, when someone yells at me at work, I can't very well punch them in the eye or run away, even if that would be fun. So, the adrenaline or energy or whatever it is from the fight or flight response stays in the body and keeps the muscles tense.

Maybe the solution is to be more honest. I can't punch people in the face or run away from them at top speed, but I coudl be more up front.

With Goose, my options were literally fight or flight. I could fight with him or for him, or I could fly to him or from him. I chose to walk away from him. I still think it was the best choice of my available options, but I have been struggling with it. Lately, it has felt worse, probably because he'll be in Las Vegas in the next week or so, and I keep thinking about how I could be seeing him in a week or two instead of sitting around here on my ass by myself wishing I was with him.

I thought that maybe he would email me, but he didn't. It sucks. It's bad enough to miss him and love him and want to be with him, but the hardest part is knowing he doesn't feel any of those things.