I Was Looking for a Job and Then I Found a Job and Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now

My job threatened to fire me last Thursday. In the current economy, I'm sure most people are concerned about the possibility of being fired, but my job's threat was focused on my performance rather than the economy. I unexpectedly received two negative reviews (and three positive reviews), and I was told that if I don't shape up in the next three months, I'll be asked to ship out. Consummate professional that I am, I promptly burst into tears during my evaluation.

Since then, I allowed myself the rest of the day on Thursday to wallow and have since commenced phase one of my plan: Kick Ass. Phase two is: Take Names. (Neither review was fair, but the one completely premised on fiction was the result of some slander of my good name by a colleague of mine. Once I save my job, I'm going to fuck that bitch up.) I've been beating the bushes for my projects (so as to generate more evaluations, which will ideally be positive) and have reached out to the two asswipes who gave me negative evaluations so we can talk about how I can better meet their expectations in the future (read: so I can disguise my contempt for them and their execrable managerial skills while kissing their asses).

I'm waffling between feeling like a basket case over this situation and being not terribly worried about it. Obviously, I don't like receiving negative feedback or being criticized, and I especially don't like it in the worst economic climate since the Great Depression. On the other hand, this is not the first time I've had to fight for a job, and it's certainly not as difficult as the other time I had to do it. Also, I faced down Satan's meaner sister at my last job without blinking (like Sarah Palin, I guess), so none of the pussies at my current job scare me in the slightest. Besides all that, I had been thinking awhile ago about going into a different branch of the same field (doing career services for students), and this stumbling block made me think that it's time to start thinking more seriously about making that transition. I don't intend to leave my current job until I'm damn good and ready to do so, but I'm a bit soured on it now, and I might be damn good and ready to leave sooner than I would have thought prior to last Thursday.

I'm a fighter, not a lover, and I'm ready to go to battle over this job. I deserve it, and, to quote Dream Girls, "I am telling you I'm not going." At least not until I decide I am. Fuck them.