I've Been Down-Hearted, Baby, I've Been Down-Hearted, Baby, Ever Since the Day We Met

I really miss the new guy. I know it's crazy. He acted like a complete and total asshole there at the end. The way he behaved was unforgivable, but it isn't getting any easier to be away from him. In fact, now that time and distance blunted the sharp edges of my anger, I just miss him and want to talk to him. I remind myself that talking to him will quickly devolve into listening to him holler at me, but I can't quite convince myself that he's a bad idea. I've done everything I can to protect myself from myself -- I deleted all his emails and Facebook messages, I deleted his phone number from my phone and my entire call history to make sure I didn't succumb to the desire to text him based on getting his phone number from my missed calls log. But shouldn't this be getting easier instead of harder?