If You Wanna Make the World a Better Place, Take a Look at Yourself and Then Make a Change

It's no secret that I haven't been happy about my employment situation, populated as my workplace is by abusive bullies. I have considered many times whether I ought to quit even before I find another job to replace this one, just to salvage some sanity and self-esteem, especially since I have a second income through my night job.

I have stayed thus far because this job pays significantly more than any other unskilled temporary position I have seen in the marketplace -- almost twice as much, in fact. Financially, staying is the right choice.

Today, I received an email about a temp position that caught my eye. It pays less than my current day job but more than a lot of what I've seen advertised. I think it pays enough that I could make the financial transition with minimal pain. I sent in my materials, and I am now being considered.

My biggest concern about taking this job (if it's offered to me) is whether I'm going from one negative workplace environment to another equally negative one for less money. In other words, am I jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire? Throughout my struggles to deal with my career setback in the economic downturn, I've been trying to learn some recession lessons that I might be able to carry with me during rosier times. One question I'm asking myself right now is whether, when faced with an insupportable situation like the one at my day job, it is a good idea to take a risk even knowing that it might fail.

Taking chances and making changes are both hard. I'm comfortable taking chances in certain areas of my life (witness my love of travel) but not others (witness my constant choice of unavailable men). Based on my selection of law as a profession, I would say that I am uncomfortable taking chances when it comes to my career. Being laid off has made me even more risk-averse because my self-confidence is bruised, making me less likely to believe in my own instincts.

I hope that one day, when I look back on this period of adversity in my life, I see it as a time of tremendous personal growth. I have spent the past year or so outside of my comfort zone more often than ever before, and this instance is another example of that. Normally, when faced with a decision of whether to stay in a shitty job that pays well and is familiar or leave for a different, lower-paying job that might also be shitty, I would stay with the pat hand. Now, I'm at least trying to change jobs in the hope of being happier at work even though there is a chance that I won't be.