I'm a Bad Boy 'Cause I Don't Even Miss Her, I'm a Bad Boy for Breakin' Her Heart

Unsurprisingly, I never received a response from The Only Living Boy in New York. I had hoped, however unrealistically, that he would offer some explanation for his actions. I can't imagine any explanation that would satisfy me, but I hoped he would offer some kind of insight into why he would do something so hurtful to someone he at least pretends to consider a friend.

I think what I found out here is that I am a safety net of sorts for him. He knows how I feel about him, and it's something he can wrap around himself like a warm blanket when something else in his life is getting him down. I'm a steady supply of self-esteem boosts for him.

That isn't so bad in and of itself. We all have people we go to when we're feeling down, people we rely on to remind us of our strengths and cheer us up. The problem is that he doesn't give anything back to me except the ongoing hope that we might eventually get together. I've given him several chances to prove to me that he can be my friend without leading me on, and he can't do it. Yet he also doesn't demonstrate any interest in being my boyfriend or even my friend-with-benefits. I've offered him almost every kind of relationship a guy and a girl can have together, and he hasn't been able to settle on one.

I guess that my spewing some anger at him took him by surprise, since he's used to turning to me for unconditional love and support. And I guess if I'm not just nurturing him, he doesn't have much use for me.