Your Own Personal Jesus

I went to high school with a lot of evangelical Protestants -- the type of people who hand out pamphlets with Biblical evidence to disprove evolution or the Big Bang theory. My family is not religious, but I see the appeal. When you participate in a religion, you receive a system to help you deal with the world and commune with forces beyond yourself. Everyone needs to do these things.

If you don't attach yourself to a religion, then you're left to figure out how to cope with the joys and pains of life on your own. You have to ask yourself questions like, "What is my relationship with a higher power, or do I even believe one exists?" or "What will I see as ethical or unethical behavior?" In my family, we're making it up as we go along. I envied my evangelical buddies in high school because someone else already created a solution to those dilemmas that they could adopt as their own.

Something similar is happening to me now as I try to figure out what my life will be in my post-layoff world. When I worked at a big law firm, my choices were made for me. The culture of those firms dictated my values and goals, so I didn't have to give those matters much thought. Now that I'm out on my own, I'm struggling to make these decisions for myself. I hope it will ultimately be more rewarding, but it is definitely more difficult.

Since travel is my passion in life, I've been considering whether the long-term travel lifestyle is for me. There are a number of wonderful podcasts and blogs out there created by people who are living this way, such as the Indie Travel Podcast, Ott's World, or Almost Fearless. These folks have been traveling continuously for years at a time and have seen some amazing things. It is so tempting to follow their example and strike out for adventure, and it would be great to plug into the systems they've created for dealing with their journeys through the world, but I have decided that that won't work for me right now.

It turns out that I like working. I don't necessarily like my job, but when I'm not working, I feel lost. When I say "working," I mean for someone else. I don't have any interest in the headaches and logistical planning that come with being a business owner, but I like showing up somewhere every day. Somehow, this increases my self-esteem because I'm depended on, I have people to talk to, and I have something to do. If I traveled full time, I would miss that. I think my ideal is to work somewhere with minimal responsibilities that would allow me to leave the country four or five times per year.