I haven't heard anything from the guy from the trip. He has his iPhone, his computer with Wi-Fi access and all my contact information. With all the technology he has with him, he could probably be watching me through my window with satellite images, so if I haven't heard from him, it is because he doesn't care enough to get in touch. He isn't supine on a bed in Bariloche, clutching his iPhone to his chest, listening to Hey There, Delilah with tears streaming down his face missing me. That sounds more like something I would do if: (1) I was in Bariloche, (2) I owned an iPhone and (3) there was a song equivalent to Hey There, Delilah about a man who lives in Sydney instead of about a woman who lives in New York (like myself).
If I had to guess (and I don't, but I will anyway), I would say that his thought process after we walked too far away from each other at the airport to keep holding hands went something like this: "Oh, yeah, [Known Associates] is a great girl, and I had a wonderful time hanging around with her. But when you get right down to it, I have a good thing going on with a girl far closer to home, so I think I'll just forget all about the emotional fling I had on vacation and get back to business as usual." I can't blame him for that. It's certainly the practical view. I mean, if he went home and said to, e.g., his best friend, "Yeah, my holiday was terrific. I had a brilliant time. Oh, and you'll like this part -- I met this amazing girl and I'm going to jettison my current relationship and either invite Holiday Girl to move here to be with me or I'm going to try to get posted to the United States so we can be fully snuggling all the time," his best friend would probably tell him to get a grip.
Speaking of best friends, I hadn't intended to tell anyone about this guy when I returned home. But of course, I have a big mouth, and I felt upset, so I confided in a few people to whom I feel closest. Well, that was fucking stupid. I should have stuck with my original vow of silence. What I'm hearing back from people is exactly what I feared I would hear: (1) He has a girlfriend, (2) He lives on the planet Neptune and (3) You can't be in love with someone you've known for a hot second (and where is that written anyway?). Unhelpful. Talking to most of my friends about this guy just makes me feel like shit because the attitude I get is: "Sigh. You always do this. You go off on vacation, and you meet some guy, and he always lives a billion miles away, and he almost always has a girlfriend. Sigh. This is your pathology. Why are you too pathetic to meet someone who lives within your national borders and whose junk isn't already spoken for? And you're not in love." Yeah, like I wouldn't a million times rather meet someone available to me. Like I'm having such a good time right now. And again, where is it written that you can't fall in love with someone after a short but intense acquaintance? Is there a probationary period before you can fall in love with someone?
I can feel myself not making sense anymore, and I hate it. Just to try to get back to some semblance of rationality, let me say that if this guy managed to forget me as soon as the possibility of imminently touching my junk evaporated, then he is not The One. If he forgot me so quickly, then he is a bit of a shit. I think I'm going to go take a nap.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment