I Get So Tired of Working So Hard for Our Survival. I Look to the Time With You to Keep Me Awake and Alive.

My morale is higher today than it was yesterday.

I had brunch with Teeny this morning, and we had a good chat. We didn't set out to sort out my life, but in the course of our discussion, I organized some thoughts that have been rattling around in my brain since I found out I'm losing my job. I guess that's one of the reasons Teeny is such a cherished friend -- she helps me to understand myself better.

As a smart, ambitious young lady, I have focused on clearly measurable markers of success. Specifically, I attended fancy-pants schools and scratched and clawed to practice at a fancy-pants law firm. Being able to say I went to a certain school or that I practice at a certain firm is like the grown-up equivalent of SAT scores -- it's a clear indicator of aptitude. Yet it is like the SATs in another way -- it is largely meaningless bullshit. I enjoy the law, but I don't love it. It's a means to an end, a way that I can pass the time and fund the things in my life that really matter to me.

What really matters to me? That's an easy question. My family, Teh Doggeh, my friends, yoga, baking, cooking, travel and writing. I need to find a job that will pay me enough money and give me enough time to pursue those interests.

Oh, and the new guy texted me this morning. He's coming to visit. He wanted to come today, but I think he might come next weekend instead.