I haven't heard anything from the new guy since he sent me that dirty text message yesterday morning, but he was posting photos on Facebook. I don't know why I allow him to hurt me, but I do. He was supposed to visit me this weekend, and he never even bothered to tell me he wasn't going to.
He really is exactly like my father -- hot and cold, withholding and then emotional. And I have played right into it by working harder to get his attention and approval when he starts to withdraw, just like I do with my dad. What is wrong with me?
When the new guy first started calling me, he used to ask me about my day and listen to what was going on in my life. Now, I feel like he only wants to talk to me to berate me about something (e.g., loneliness, lack of health discipline) or initiate phone sex. As it turns out, being yelled at is not much of a turn-on for me. Obviously, I deserve more. I just wish I could turn off my feelings for this person.
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