You Keep On Pushing My Love Over the Borderline

The new guy and I are completely and totally done. After the texts I mentioned on Monday, he sent the following texts:

"And for the record, I did not call you a fucker! So drop whatever the hell you're smoking and LISTEN to your messages a little more clearly! Go dry your eyes out with a box of kleenex while you're at it!"

Charming. And...

"I totally agree! Why should I talk to someone like you who talks so much smack about me to someone else? And then tells me you cant [sic] wait to see me?!?! Who the hell do you think you are? Dont [sic] you dare make it sound like I have the problem here. But you know what? You're not worth it, certainly not worth something to get upset over. I wonder how much [our mutual acquaintance] knows about all the things you were planning on doing with me. Did you tell [her] how I had to tell you to slow down and think straight, or did you over exaggerate your side of the story to make yourself look all pure and innocent and me look like the bad guy? Dont [sic] worry, you don't have to answer that! I believe I did not do anything wrong. But thats [sic] ok, everyone only knows your side of the story and of course, I AM the bad guy! Dont [sic] you dare try to get away with elling me never to call you again. Im [sic] the one who should be telling YOU that!"

At the end there, he scared me. At the beginning of the texting, he had a point. Our friend should not have said anything to him, and I understand that he might not take it well that I talked about him behind his back. But before he gave me any kind of chance to talk to him about it, he got shitty with me about it. Then he denied getting shitty with me about it. Since some of his texts came from different numbers, it's possible he used friends' phones and the friends carried on texting without his knowledge, but I didn't care to drill down that deeply to find out the whole story. By that point, I knew I needed to be done with him.

Even if he felt totally innocent of any name-calling, his first text above was rude and inappropriate. It's one thing for him to say, "I didn't call you that. Why do you think I did?" But he was being an ass. He made no allowance for my having a legitimate reason to think he did call me a fucker. It doesn't sound like he even checked with any friends whose phones he used to see if they did it, if that was a possibility.

The second text above is just incredibly inappropriate on every level. Again, he starts off with a vaguely valid point about being upset that I would talk badly about him behind his back and tell him to his face that I couldn't wait to see him. I didn't bother to explain to him that I was, at one point, very excited to see him, but that I have grown increasingly unhappy with his behavior. He needs to have the last word, so I assume that's why he insists that he should be the one who gets to break off the relationship, but he sounds like he's threatening me. That frightens me. I also wonder what point he's trying to make in asking whether our friend knows what I was planning to do with him. I also wonder what I was planning to do with him. If he means that the possiblity that he and I might have had sex was discussed, well, he's the only one who thinks I would have been a whore for doing that.

He is very sensitive to any suggestion that he is being talked about behind his back. In his previous "fuck you" email in which he basically called me lonely, pathetic and deluded, he mentioned my talking about him to people he and I both know and wondering what was said. Maybe he has been the victim of rumors in the past. In any case, while I don't think our friend should have said anything to him and he had some legitimate basis to feel annoyed, his response was out of proportion to the wrong perpetrated on him. It made me realize that he is abusive and way too angry for me and that I made a very good decision in severing ties. I just hope it's really over.